Mark’s account in his Gospel is compelling. The narrative of the storm vividly depicts the inner turmoil that many of us experience constantly without ever really finding the courage to say it out loud, or without ever finding the right words to express it.
There is a boat, the disciples, and Jesus. He is not elsewhere, as in other stories.
He is not on the shore while the disciples are in the boat.
This time, Jesus is there, in the boat with his disciples. A storm breaks out, and the disciples fear that it may be the end: “He was in the stern, asleep on a cushion. So they woke him and said to him, ‘Teacher, don’t you care that we are about to die?” (Mark 4:38)
It seems almost paradoxical, but the disciples’ situation of difficulty, fear, and suffering is contrasted with a Jesus who is present but asleep. He sleeps, as if he does not care, or at least that is the impression the disciples have.
In all honesty, we must admit that we too often have the same impression. Things happen to us that we did not choose, situations too big for our limited strength, and the boat of our life is tossed about so much that we begin to doubt whether God exists or if he is asleep.
The lesson of the disciples is beautiful: they find the courage to say it. They pray sincerely. We too should learn the parrhesia with which they tell Jesus what they feel inside. But like them, we must also be willing to accept the lesson that Jesus teaches precisely from this feeling: “He woke up, rebuked the wind, and said to the sea, ‘Be still, be calm! The wind ceased, and there was a great calm. Then he said to them, ‘Why are you so afraid? Do you still have no faith?’” (Mark 4:39-40)
It is difficult for us to reason unless we always start from what we feel. If we feel fear, we reason with fear. Jesus says that faith is disobeying fear and remembering what we believe, even when we do not feel it.
To believe is to trust Jesus and not fear the storm.
